you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
