If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize