someone get that fucking seahorse.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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