Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
