I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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