yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
