2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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