Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
