I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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