She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
