We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
