She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
