Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
