Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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