Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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