so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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