All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
