I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize