people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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