You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Is it penis luge time yet?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
