Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Drake has all the answers
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
