Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
