What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
did i walk over a car last night?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize