I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
