When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize