He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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