first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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