Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
