You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
