I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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