I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
