How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
