You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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He's a Shit stain on my heart
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
is that a dick in a sweater?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
