I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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