i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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