THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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