like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
