And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
is it fun? or sober?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
