All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
