it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
