p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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