Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
