Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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