He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
