i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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