the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
