Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
