yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
being pregnant is like rehab
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
