he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
