Don't make out with my wife yet
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
