I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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