I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
