That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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