do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
tell me about the eggs
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
