I seem to have left my pride at pride
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
