Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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