Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
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